Click image to open full size in new tab
Article Text
Miscellaneous Items. BURNS.-Burns. in his autobiography, in forms us that a life of Hannibal, which he read when a boy, raised the first stirrings of his enthusiasm; and he adds, with his own fervid expression. that the life of Sir William Wallace poured a tide of Scottish prejudices into his veins, which would beil along them till the floodgates of life were shut in eternal rest He adds, speaking of his retired life in early youth, This kind of life. the cheerless gloom of a hermit, and the toil of a galley slave, brought me to my sixteenth year, when love made me a poet.' A GALLANT WAGER PROMPTLY PAID.A beautiful and lovely woman, the wife of a prominent "Republican" politician of Toledo, arrived in this city yesterday, to pay a wager of a kiss that Chase would be elected by a majority of five thousand. which bet she made with a well known Democrat lawyer residing on Fourth street. According to the agreement the loser was to come or go all over the way to the other and pay the indebtedness by the first of November. which condition she fulfilled by arriving and proffering payment yesterday-thus anticipating the specified period by a day.-Cincinnate Enquirer. A few days since a boy was passing thro' the cars on the Cleveland and Erie Railroad, handing out advertisements of "Nothing to Wear," illustrated. A lady remarked to a gentleman, That takes off the ladies, I suppose. " No." said her friend, it only takes off their dresses." "Then," replied the lady. it is proper that a ip-ling should sell it." Sidney Smith says"the Anglo-Saxon race was made for two purposes-to manufacture calico and steal land which God gave to every man to use." Land-stealers and speculators generally, please copy. THE AUGUMENTUM AD HOMINEM.-Said a bank president to a floored endorser,' Mr. you should never put your endorsement on a note unless you are sure of its besaid ing paid at the time agreed." Mr. nothing, but when the city banks suspended he happenad to meet the president, took him by the button-hole, and addressed him as follows "Mr. I want to give you a little advice. Never put your name on a note unless you are sure it will be paid at the time agreed. I have noticed a great many notes floating about with your name upon them. but they were all refused payment. The emotions of the president overpowered him. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ADAM AND "Tom MOORE.' Moore being at one time forced to absent himself from a pleasant evening party on account of not having a pair of dress breeches to wear. sent the following to his hostess "Betwixt Adam and me the great difference is, Though a paradise each has been forced to resign. That be never wore breeches till turned out of his. While for want of my breeches I'm turned out of mine" JOHN SCHMIDT IN Funds.-John Schmidt is a German banker in Louisville. He suffered a run. was compelled to suspend, but did not close his doors. He simply stuck up a notice in high Dutch that he was going to have some money pretty soon. Two days after he took down the notice and put up another stating that he had $15,000 OR hand. There was another run and the $15,000 was soon gone. John put up the old notice again, and next day was again in funds, when, in accordance with his old plan, he changed the notice. At last accounts there was no run on John Schmidt. and his depositors had all come back to him. That was straightforward Dutch pluck and honesty.Baffaio Commercial. Knickerbocker has the following interesting epigrams HERE LIE Two grandmothers with their two grand daugh ters. Two husbands with their two wives. Two fathers with their two daughters. Two mothers with their two sons. Two maidens with their two mothers, Two sisters with their two brothers. Yet but six corps in all lie buried here. All born legitimate, and from incest clear." And our ingenious antiquarian satifactorily unravels all the intricate tangle. Let your Knickerbocker wits "throw themselves upon the sumjack." Also, while they are about it. let them answer this: Two widowers (who are not related) marry each other's daughters, what relation will their children be to each other ? YANKER POETRY.-A down-east poet thus immoralizes the beautiful river Connecticut Roll on. loved Connecticut. long hast thou ran. giving shad to old Hartford and freedom to man A DEAD SURE THING.-The Cincinnati Commercial tells a yarn about two ladies traveling from St. Louis to Cincinnati, one of whom was asked by a fellow traveler with whom a conversation had been opened, ifshe was married. I was married," sighed the blooming dame, "but alas I know not if my husband be dead or alive. I heard that he was accidentally killed in Pittsburgh, a few weeks ago, and I am now going there to ascertain whither the report be true or false." Well, I've got a dead sare thing on my husband," remarked the other lady, "for I saw him buried six weeks ago."
