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CAMPAIGN NUTS. The Pops have popped. Is Gus. Houston a member of the Cobden club? It costs $2,500 to get Gus' name on the Big six ticket. Has the Republican Executive committee been spiked again? It was the undertakers' "treat" last evening. Dr. Amos Graves has been nominated physician and surgeon to the Big Six. If John Stevens would only come out and serve the people, the other fellow would have the backache. The Citizens' committee should re-charge their guns with better ammunition. The scheme to elect one of the Big 3 mayor by the combine in February will not win. A prominent Pop. says in a few days you will hear something drop,--a drop in the bucket, eh ! Houston's supporters are as scarce as hen's teeth; we ought to employ a dentist to get some for him. The Weekly LIGHT is the best campaign document you can send to the voters in the Twelfth District. All the lawyers at the bar are not followers of Gus Houstonsome of them are with the people in this fight. August Santleben could be elected if he will run. His kidneys are strong enough to dampen the other fellah down. A sassafras-conflicted Houstonite came near getting the toe of a Noonanite boot for yelping for Houston. He dried up quick. The Noonanite is one of the sufferers from the Maverick bank failure. Keep cool, boys. Gus Houston's campaign jokes have reminded the people in the west of how to tell the age of a cow -they count the wrinkles on the horns and find them dating back befo de wah. Gus still hops on the colored brother on the black and tan ticket. Gus will have to pay high for the article this time if he expects to get any of it. The Big Six now send their family doctor out to interview all prospective candidates, to inform them that a political race would likely affect their kidneys. Herron is the tallest bird in the justice of the peace race, Sulzbacher is the shortest, Anton Adam is the prettiest, Griff Jones the fattest, Net. Devine comes in betwixt and between,--two to one on "shorty." Mr. A. Lewey signs the call to getup a Houston Democratic club after being fired by the state Democratic chairman. Judge Noonan's friends will all be glad to greet him home again. He has taken to the campaign like an old veteran, and feels fresh and vigorous. There is reported a steady run on the Maverick bank building, ever since it got out that a barrel was on tap there. Our advice is, go in boys and get your wad, otherwise it might disappear. The voters out west have good taste-they don't like Gus on account of his looks-his picture in the St. Louis Globe-Democrat resembles Dr. Von Koering, fine beard, &c. Buy the Globe-Democrat and send it out to them. The Galveston News calls the sugar planters of Louisiana hogs because they left the Democratic party. Get up a name for the sheep men and cattle men of the 19th district