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AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FIVE-CENT PIECE "Oh, T am so tired, and I had hoped for a short rest when I fell into the hands of that Greek lunch stand keeper," moaned the 5-cent piece as it was handed over the cash counter as the difference between an order of ham and eggs and a 25-cent piece. "As you will see by the lines of my face I am 19 years of age, and, by the way, this is my birthday. I was born in Philadelphia April 1, 1891. It was a fool's day for me, all right. "During a rest spell last night I made a hasty calculation of the work I have performed during my lifetime. I feel that I deserve a rest. "I have worked in all 7135 days, excepting a short vacation in Europe. I'll tell you how that happened: When the panic came in 1907 I was in the First National bank of Birmingham and was handed out to an Italian laborer who was going back to the old country to wait for the flurry to blow over. I happened to be selected among other pieces of coin for exhibition pieces among the Sicilian friends of my master. I remained in the old country one year, when we returned to New York. There I was spent for a bowl of soup and 29 again started the endless toil that has no rest. 'Dollars and bank notes may rest at times but 5-cent pieces, never. "I have figured in transactions that involved millions and have bought rolls for hungry children. I have helped to buy yachts and automobilΓ©s for princes of finance and bread for paupers. I have helped to pay the salary of the preacher and the debts of the gambler, I have bought gin for the drunkard and bon-bons for the dainty school girl. I am as much at home tied up in the dirty handkerchief of an outcast as in the silken purse of a society star. "I have traveled through every state in the union and have been lost a dozen times. I have been the last piece of money in 375 men's pockets and have been squeezed and handled by nervous fingers until my bones ached. "I had a narrow escape from lifetime imprisonment once in New York. I was five of 30 cents drawn from the bank of Hetty Green. She had to spend two nickels and I happened to be one of them. have spent a great deal of my life in the Birmingham district. I like Birmingham but I do not get to staf in one place long at a time. "To give you some idea of the amount of work I have accomplished I will recount some of the small items of which I have kept track. "I have bought 867 loves of bread, 650 pounds of candy, 842 5-cent cigars, 347 bags of peanuts, about 500 car rides, 958 newspapers, $867.55 worth of fruit, about $200 worth of postage stamps and $1225.20 worth of soft drinks. "By the way, I was terribly frightened in Birmingham last night. I actually bought a glass of beer. I got out of the place as quick as I could and came around here where I bought a small ham sandwich. "Now, if you do not want to keep me pay your city taxes with me. Maybe I will be placed to the credit of the street sweeping department and get a rest a while."